the old-school guestbook archives
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embracing the light ~ June 23, 2002 - 9:54 p.m. so yes, friday night... an all-night solstice dance thang at the 418 project. my first time eating mushrooms in over a year. and I don't know what to tell you, really. the night was some of everything. a guy named otter came up to me on the street just as I arrived and offered to pay my way in. which was wonderful, since I'd been planning on asking if I could do work trade anyway, being fairly broke at the moment. and so the night began with a blessing. and it was an interesting mix of people, dance jam folks and raver kids. I climbed up the hill out back and sat next to the river, said a prayer and created an intention as I ate the small amount of mushrooms I'd been saving for the right occasion. at midnight we held the most raggedy-ass solstice ritual ever, with lots of giggling. "blessed be" at the end was about the only thing we came together on. and then we danced, and danced. my mushroom journey was not too intense, and not too mellow either. a good balance, I think. the energy was all over the place. some of it was really positive, and some of it was really negative. I kept reminding myself that I didn't have to stay near any energy that didn't feel good. there was a chill space, with a floor covered with futons and pillows, tapestries on the walls and ceiling, soft colored lights and an altar along one wall. food was made in the little cafe space that used to be libelula-- my favorite vegetarian cafe which has so sadly gone under-- and passed around, polenta and ganga brownies and organic fruit and yerba mate and chai. and tina was there with me, tina who I need to get used to calling august, just as she needs to get used to calling me urvasi. we both began using our spiritual names just recently. I kept losing her and finding her, and she was smiley and high and I had pupils the size of dinner plates and each of us had our own journey. and ever was there, and that was good, until I said some little thing that triggered some kind of emotional reaction for him and I was a little sad about the fact that that always seems to happen when we try to talk these days. but I reminded myself that his tension doesn't have to be my tension, and moved on. and danced, and danced. I had some beautiful conversations with people in the chill space, one of whom had just moved to boulder creek two weeks before and knows my friend guy, who lives in texas, and we laughed about synchronicities, and laughed some more and lounged and lazed and talked about energy and healing and the way in which santa cruz calls beautiful and incredible people from everywhere. and somewhere along the way to peaking on my mushroom journey, I had a really long conversation about intestinal parasites with a hippie who looked a lot like a pre-gray jerry garcia. don't ask. like I said, a very mixed night. but good, on the whole. not intensely magical, but a journey just the same. a good way to welcome the return of the light, and shake off the darkness of last winter. august and I crashed out for a bit around sunrise, and then headed back up the mountain. as we came up mount madonna road, we saw somebody's puppydog lying dead in the road. we pulled over and moved him over to the shoulder. so sad. hard to imagine hitting a dog, and then just driving away. and all the other cars that had just driven around him. the rest of the way home, I told august stories about the clown ranch that had her laughing so hard that she was swerving all over the road. home again, we crawled into our beds (she lives in the room next door to mine) and slept until 2, both of us waking up at the same time. august kicks ass. I'm glad we're getting to be friends. and today was just lovely. I worked in the garden and then went and jumped in the lake. it's a pond, really, but we call it a lake, and it's fun to swim in. there's a giant hunk of wood floating in it right now that used to be a bridge, and last week me and august discovered that it's the best toy ever. I learned how to do backflips off it, and now it's just about my favorite thing to do in the water. there's a bunch of people here right now doing a month-long yoga teacher's training intensive-- including tatiana, who came back for it-- and today I got a bunch of the teachers in training out on the wood thing with me, and we laughed and played and rocked it from side to side until we fell off, and we jumped and dived and backflipped and just generally had a good old summertime afternoon. I got myself a nice sunburn. oh yes, I'll be hurting tomorrow. but somehow right now I really don't mind. summertime. oh, yes.
(((rings))) |