the old-school guestbook archives
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why I listened to a lot of depeche mode when I was growing up... ~ 2001-01-08 - 01:57:32 I'm tired. milwaukee makes me tired. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm remembering why I rarely spend more than a couple of days here. It's been good to spend time with people I love, but this place is wearing me down. I feel disconnected when I'm in milwaukee, the light which usually sustains me feels as distant as the sun in this cold, grey place. my head hurts, my stomach is upset, my body is sore. it's hard to meditate, hard to do yoga, hard to think. I haven't been dancing in way too long. on the up side, I have my car back. I can't leave here until I've made some money, though. I guess I'd better do something about that. I'd better do something about that really soon. sorry to be so heavy, but that's where I'm at... I'm in a cold, grey place. if there weren't people I loved here, I'd never come back. ~~~~~~~~~~ okay, an addedum... I just couldn't seem to leave y'all with such a bleak taste in your mouths... and when I'd finished my entry, I checked in with risa d'angeles, my favorite astrologer, to see what was going on in the cosmos today. it was a moon void-of-course day today-- and I can't tell you what that means, but according to risa, on void-of-course days, nothing connects too well. feelings of isolation and disconnected thinking happen. that's one thing I really like astrology for. when I start talking astrology, people start giggling and rolling their eyes, but you know what-- it can give you some damn good perspective on life. why do I have these ongoing conflicts with this person? oh, look, our signs are opposed. we just need to learn to work with those differences. why am I feeling so crazy today? because of the way the planets are lined up... tomorrow will be better. most people who don't believe in astrology have had very little contact with it apart from the crappy little things in the daily paper that are about as predictive as fortune cookies. you need to find a good astrologer, and one whose style works for you. give it a shot-- check out risa. she's a badass, and often a source of inspiration for me. risa is also the one who turned me on to nicholas roerich-- who is one of my all time favorite artists. I only discovered him recently, so I don't know enough about him to do him justice here, but everything I read about him turns me on, as does his paintings. he's been dead since 1947, but his thinking and his art were way ahead of his time. "peace through culture" is the motto of the nicholas roerich museum in new york city, a phrase he coined. he studied eastern spiritualities, and believed that art could transcend cultural differences. the first painting I ever saw of his, mother of the world, still makes me tingle every time I look at it. I think it's one of my all time favorite paintings. I can't wait to see it in person when I'm in new york. check it out.
(((rings))) |