the old-school guestbook archives
my amazon wish list... my favorite astrologer... my favorite artist... yerba mate revolution! erowid: a travel guide for interior journeys... no more war: MoveOn.org United for Peace and Justice True Majority seek the truth: Common Dreams Unamerican Activities The Nation people I adore, diaries I read: rev.raikes ariana cubiclegirl epiphany glitter333 laurakay wammo the music: the asylum street spankers backyard tire fire blue highway bill camplin wendy colonna freedom tribe joules graves guy forsyth band hamsa lila hanuman libby kirkpatrick leftover salmon pamela means medeski martin & wood the motet the nice outfit nickel creek open road rose polenzani railroad earth south austin jug band string cheese incident taarka tha musemeant the devil makes three tim o'brien band trolley wild sage keller williams yonder mountain string band |
the human league ~ October 27, 2003 - 9:31 a.m. back at the low-pressure temp job. although I got zero e-mails written on friday, spending the day instead putting together my long-overdue best of list. 'cause I think it's nice for folks to be able to peruse the entries *I* love best. for whatever reason. it also helps you cut to the chase if you're new around here. mainly I like the idea because in a diary like this-- magic occasionally happens. but the vast majority of it is just random crap. a thinly edited upload of the insides of my head at any given moment. I've always worked pretty hard at keeping this diary real, trying not to worry too much about the assorted crowd of readers peeking over my shoulder from all over the world. I try to keep it real because I want it to be an honest reflection of my experience at any given time. even when I make stupid moves, fall into bad relationships, or wallow in self-pity. this is life, all of it. which reminds me of one of the things about buffy that I find utterly compelling. (yes, more buffy. deal.) everyone on buffy-- including and especially buffy-- makes bad choices sometimes. bad relationship choices, bad social choices, bad I-almost-killed-all-my-friends choices. some of them have deep consequences. some of them change things forever. it's just so utterly human. it's something we do. we blunder along as well as we can, grapple with life in ways that are messy and raw and sometimes just plain stupid. and in general, the people who love us best more or less forgive us for it. because we all are doing this human thing together. when I left california, in the midst of an emotional mess that I was largely responsible for-- and which I'm still not quite up to writing about-- I told ariana I wish I was a better person. she said me too-- I mean-- and I laughed, we both did, even through the tears. I know what you mean. there's something deeply compelling to me about this human experience, with all its flaws and strangeness and difficulties. all its startling moments of grace and beauty and joy. I think that's part of what I've been doing here for the last three years. putting it down, making a record. this is what it looks like, through one pair of eyes.
(((rings))) |