the old-school guestbook archives
my amazon wish list... my favorite astrologer... my favorite artist... yerba mate revolution! erowid: a travel guide for interior journeys... no more war: MoveOn.org United for Peace and Justice True Majority seek the truth: Common Dreams Unamerican Activities The Nation people I adore, diaries I read: rev.raikes ariana cubiclegirl epiphany glitter333 laurakay wammo the music: the asylum street spankers backyard tire fire blue highway bill camplin wendy colonna freedom tribe joules graves guy forsyth band hamsa lila hanuman libby kirkpatrick leftover salmon pamela means medeski martin & wood the motet the nice outfit nickel creek open road rose polenzani railroad earth south austin jug band string cheese incident taarka tha musemeant the devil makes three tim o'brien band trolley wild sage keller williams yonder mountain string band |
neither here nor there... ~ 2000-12-28 - 06:45:45 in milwaukee I get dreamy and strange. I am somewhat nocturnal in any case, but when I'm here I tend to stay up all night every night, watching too much tv (which makes me restless and annoyed), working and playing on the internet, reading and writing (not writing enough, which makes me restless and annoyed). for years it was hard to come back here. recently I was talking to tim, a hippie kid I know back in boulder creek. he grew up out here too, although we met in california. he had just come back from a trip to milwaukee, and I said "wow-- milwaukee is such a continent in my head." it's true... so much of my history lives here, so many of my ghosts. it feels strange to come back here at this point in my life, because for the first time I really seem to have made peace with the past. I spent a whole lot of my life being chased by demons, and at some point I just got tired of running. my memories still live here, but they have no grip on me. I'm pretty happy with the woman I've become, and I don't see the sense in complaining about anything along the road that brought me to this place. so what if it was painful... that's how you learn things. you know? I've been spending a lot of time with people I love. yesterday I got to hang out with heather for a good long time... she's been my best friend in the world since we were 14, and we are still so deeply connected, even though we only see each other about once a year if we're lucky. she lives out in vermont, and she and her partner, andre, are pregnant with their first child. she's here visiting her mom and her huge, crazy, loving family. ginger came over with her new boyfriend (of whom heather and I approve-- brian's a waldorf teacher with sparkly eyes), and we all sat and drank tea and talked about living from the heart. later, I met up with karina-- who I've also known since I was 14-- at a gig of our friend pam's. pamela means, besides being a friend, is an amazing folksinger, songwriter, and badass guitarist. go check her out when she's near you... she's based out of boston these days, but she tours a lot. karina and pam were both really encouraging when I started reading my poetry on stages, when I was 18. karina used to drag me down to open mic night at The Coffeehouse, a non-profit performance space that's been in operation since 1969. pam was a volunteer manager there, and just getting her start in music. we hung out for long lazy hours after the gig last night, spinning lps from pam's vinyl collection, sharing sleepy-eyed smiles and talking, talking, talking. sometimes I am just in awe at the number of beautiful, amazing people in my life... you'll probably hear more about milwaukee than you ever wanted to know over the next couple of weeks. it is, after all, a continent in my head... and I'm still trying to work out how someplace can feel so utterly familiar and so completely alien at the same time. when I figure it out, I'll let you know.
(((rings))) |