the old-school guestbook archives
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the angel of neither/or ~ April 12, 2003 - 5:01 p.m. hard to know what to think about the world. right now it's hard for me to think about anything larger than the radius of my body, walking the streets of vientiane. hot, today. 99 degrees farenheit. my german friend, johanna, has another german friend, valleska, visiting from thailand. the three of us are walking the white-heat-glaring streets. I am slow, sleepy, the streets are quiet. they say that the parties will begin after sundown, but now everything feels sleepy and slow. walking with them, I am especially conscious of our whiteness. people here are getting to know me, starting to realize that I've been here for too long to be a tourist, but the three of us together look like nothing but. I am in a strange place, an in-between place. I have been sick, and while I no longer am, I can't yet call myself well. I am a ghost, neither here nor there. I have moments when I think what am I doing here? but I'm not sure what I mean by that. here in laos, here in the world. I have no good answers for anything today. lao language sticks in my throat, I am slow to see, hear and respond. I am the angel of neither/or, caught in the bind between. ask me again tomorrow.
(((rings))) |