the old-school guestbook archives
my amazon wish list... my favorite astrologer... my favorite artist... yerba mate revolution! erowid: a travel guide for interior journeys... no more war: MoveOn.org United for Peace and Justice True Majority seek the truth: Common Dreams Unamerican Activities The Nation people I adore, diaries I read: rev.raikes ariana cubiclegirl epiphany glitter333 laurakay wammo the music: the asylum street spankers backyard tire fire blue highway bill camplin wendy colonna freedom tribe joules graves guy forsyth band hamsa lila hanuman libby kirkpatrick leftover salmon pamela means medeski martin & wood the motet the nice outfit nickel creek open road rose polenzani railroad earth south austin jug band string cheese incident taarka tha musemeant the devil makes three tim o'brien band trolley wild sage keller williams yonder mountain string band |
far away, so close (or love in the time of SARS) ~ April 8, 2003 - 9:41 p.m. I had a minor meltdown today, when they told me that I can't go to vietnam over the holiday. or, rather, that I could go-- but that I'd have to stay home for ten days without pay when I got back. such is southeast asian life in the time of SARS. it's not the pay, I'd give up the money, it's the fact that I can not in all conscience leave my students without their teacher for a week and a half. so that I can go off and play with my sweetheart. priorities, you know. those grown-up decisions you hate to make every time, even though you know you're doing the right thing. I've been fragile and teary all day. it's not an earth-shattering crisis, I know. I guess I was a bit too attached. looking forward to being held. to feeling loved. I've made lots of friends here, wonderful friends, but no one I can just curl up with warm and sweet and close. I miss that, closeness. times like these you start to wonder about the wisdom of putting a planet's width between yourself and those who love you best in this world. I'll get over it, I know. I'll take the money I was going to use for my trip and buy nice things for my new house. I'll run around in lao new year revelry and get soaked and chances are good I'll have a lovely time. I'll go to see the boy in june, and then we'll get the chance to explore what we really are to each other, and just what it is that keeps us writing silly sweet endearments back and forth all this time. it'll all be good. sooner or later, it always is.
(((rings))) |