the old-school guestbook archives
my amazon wish list... my favorite astrologer... my favorite artist... yerba mate revolution! erowid: a travel guide for interior journeys... no more war: MoveOn.org United for Peace and Justice True Majority seek the truth: Common Dreams Unamerican Activities The Nation people I adore, diaries I read: rev.raikes ariana cubiclegirl epiphany glitter333 laurakay wammo the music: the asylum street spankers backyard tire fire blue highway bill camplin wendy colonna freedom tribe joules graves guy forsyth band hamsa lila hanuman libby kirkpatrick leftover salmon pamela means medeski martin & wood the motet the nice outfit nickel creek open road rose polenzani railroad earth south austin jug band string cheese incident taarka tha musemeant the devil makes three tim o'brien band trolley wild sage keller williams yonder mountain string band |
all over the place ~ October 16, 2001 - 2:48 a.m. it kind of sneaks up on you sometimes. today: the realization that I've once again been in san jose for too damn long. the day started out well enough, but when ozone came home in the afternoon and suggested we go do something, I just couldn't find it in me-- the desire to get off the couch. completely lacking. and then I turned on the tv. and then it turned into one of those nights where watching tv is all I really want to do, and then I'm making noodles and while the water's boiling I find myself in a fetal position on the kitchen floor. and it seems quite natural. like, this is what people do when water boils. I've learned to recognize the bad signs. tv and fetal positions are two of them. I've barely left the house in two days. we're leaving, tomorrow. going camping until we decide to come back. that should be good, should be just exactly what I need. we'll see. there's something big pushing up through my ribcage, some grey and musty ball of tears that's been waiting there for quite some time. I have to force myself to meditate at night before I go to bed. but I do, I meditate, most nights. I don't feel like I'm doing it well enough or for long enough, but I'm doing it. also, I'm reminding myself that it's good and healthy to fall apart once in a while. things you don't need have a tendency to fall away, and when you come back together, you're stronger for it. camping, yes. time in the woods. exactly. see you when we get back.
(((rings))) |