the old-school guestbook archives
my amazon wish list... my favorite astrologer... my favorite artist... yerba mate revolution! erowid: a travel guide for interior journeys... no more war: MoveOn.org United for Peace and Justice True Majority seek the truth: Common Dreams Unamerican Activities The Nation people I adore, diaries I read: rev.raikes ariana cubiclegirl epiphany glitter333 laurakay wammo the music: the asylum street spankers backyard tire fire blue highway bill camplin wendy colonna freedom tribe joules graves guy forsyth band hamsa lila hanuman libby kirkpatrick leftover salmon pamela means medeski martin & wood the motet the nice outfit nickel creek open road rose polenzani railroad earth south austin jug band string cheese incident taarka tha musemeant the devil makes three tim o'brien band trolley wild sage keller williams yonder mountain string band |
and the angels were on hand to stand in for everything... ~ 2000-11-08 - 20:40:21 I do and I don't want to write about the election. watched some of the coverage last night from steven and shanda's house. another of my home bases in boulder creek. steven, who is one of the owners of the blue sun, shanda, their two-year-old, Jonah (one of those tiny radiant beings), and their friend alex all live in this beautiful house with an apple orchard. they take me in and share their space with me when I'm in town. beautiful people, they make me feel very welcome. and I love spending time with jonah... I'm far away from my two little nephews, and I miss them all the time. little kids amaze me. especially the indigo children that are coming up now... boulder creek is full of these tiny balls of light. like persephone-- a three-year-old giggling angel who has my heart, completely, utterly. when she sees me, she yells "kelly! kelly!" and flings her arms wide for a hug. it's the closest I've ever been to feeling like a rock star. persephone loves me, so nothing in life can really be all that bad. speaking of angels, I've been noticing that my poetry is filled with them lately. angels have been bouncing around in my consciousness for a while now. all different kinds of conceptions of angels, angels as metaphors, as similies... thinking of it now, actually, it seems this recent angel thing first began with a lover I was with last spring. a man named liam, a beautiful soul who I've maintained a deep connection with in spite of the fact that he broke my heart into a million pieces. I forgave him because it turned out that my heart needed to be broken, that somehow it broke wide open, so that I could take in the enormity of the love the universe has for me. I wrote a poem about it that I still like. and the whole poem arose out of this moment when we were making love and I called him my angel. the words felt so strange coming out of my mouth, and I realized that of all the things I'd called lovers, I'd never called one my angel before. which was right, because liam was a love that was like nothing that came before, a lover that brought me back to my heart long after I thought I was able to fall like that or let anyone that deeply inside of me. when he left, I rediscovered just how bad heartbreak could feel. I was a mess, really. if it had been back in the day, I probably would've gone on a drinking binge. I haven't had a drink in 8 years, so I smoked a lot of clove cigarettes, rented a lot of videos, and just generally felt sorry for myself. it didn't help that I got fired from the first job I ever really loved a couple of weeks later. but then when things got good, they got really good. like unbelievable, cosmically, insanely good. they're still pretty damn good. and through this whole amazing transformation that's happened in my life, there've been angels, in all different manifestations, in all these different corners of my life. so yes, my writing is fraught with angels and ellipses... I'm writing a poem which explains the apocalypse angel. it's a phrase which just kept bouncing around in my head, so I pulled out my dictionary, and discovered that the secondary definition of apocalypse is "the revealing of the truth". so, yeah-- apocalypse angel. it's kind of a job description. it's what I put on my cards.
(((rings))) |