the old-school guestbook archives
my amazon wish list... my favorite astrologer... my favorite artist... yerba mate revolution! erowid: a travel guide for interior journeys... no more war: MoveOn.org United for Peace and Justice True Majority seek the truth: Common Dreams Unamerican Activities The Nation people I adore, diaries I read: rev.raikes ariana cubiclegirl epiphany glitter333 laurakay wammo the music: the asylum street spankers backyard tire fire blue highway bill camplin wendy colonna freedom tribe joules graves guy forsyth band hamsa lila hanuman libby kirkpatrick leftover salmon pamela means medeski martin & wood the motet the nice outfit nickel creek open road rose polenzani railroad earth south austin jug band string cheese incident taarka tha musemeant the devil makes three tim o'brien band trolley wild sage keller williams yonder mountain string band |
movies and cattiness... ~ June 27, 2003 - 7:59 p.m. euphoria just never does seem to stick around, does it? mine lasted roughly until my next encounter with lao boy. and maybe it's just him. he's having a rough week. money troubles, family troubles... and other stuff he doesn't tell me about. this is one of our difficulties. being involved with someone who doesn't talk about what's going on inside of them is hard for me. but last night, I crossed some kind of a line. it all just stopped mattering. I mean, of course it matters, but I think I've become resigned to things falling apart. he just doesn't seem that interested anymore. I've been around long enough to feel it when a man's heart has left me. and he's just gone. he claims he's not. that he still loves me, still wants me. it could even be true. maybe he's just under a lot of stress. without knowing what's really going on in his life, I just don't have a clue. so I'm stepping off. if he wants to come back around, if he holds out something to me that feels like love, I'll be there. but I'm not going to chase after him when it feels like he doesn't even want me around. so today I invested in some big time distraction. I plunked down $35 for a VCD-CD-MP3-Video-Game player. VCD is like a cheap version of a DVD. I wanted a DVD player, but it was about $65 more, and I decided it could wait. for now, I can hook this baby up to my tv and watch movies, listen to music, play games. and there's an english-language rental shop not far from my house. I stopped in tonight and got the matrix reloaded, magnolia, dancing at the blue iguana and angel eyes. I've got a week to bring them back, but I think I'm just going to go on a binge. I've been dying to see the new matrix, and I'm really psyched to see magnolia again. I've got movie treats. I'm stopping for indian food takeout on the way home, and then I'm gonna hook up my new toy. I'm feeling a bit under the weather, too, so this is just feeling like the perfect thing. I keep thinking of that old black flag song, "six pack": I've got a six pack,
(((rings))) |