the old-school guestbook archives
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waiting for change... ~ 2001-01-19 - 19:10:53 If you're tired of hearing about how badly it sucks to be stuck in milwaukee working at a temp job, go read my last entry, which is about kissing. I was gonna write about something else today, too, because I'M fucking tired of my own self-pity, but I'm in an especially bad mood today, and there's not much else I want to talk about. so there. Things feel so dark. the sky is always grey here in the wintertime. it's so cold outside it hurts. I'm tired and I don't feel good and my body is sore. I think I tore one of my deltoid muscles lifting weights last week, because everytime I stretch, it hurts. I make myself meditate before bed-- and I mean MAKE myself, like giving my 8 year old nephew a time out-- but lately I'm sitting for roughly 5 minutes at a time. I haven't been this miserable in a really long time. THIS is why I've been avoiding milwaukee all these years. I almost forgot. Oh, and my car. wanna hear about my car? once I got the flat tire changed and got it out of the snowbank, with the help of a couple of angels-- yes, they're here too, just fewer and further between-- it was fine, for a while. I was driving on the spare tire, which is full-size. last time I went down to chicago for a gig, I went to a branch of the chain I got the tire from, 'cause it was still under warranty. there aren't any branches in milwaukee, only in chicago, 2 hours away. remember this, it figures into the story later. so I went to the tire place in chicago and it turns out that it's not just that the tire was flat, but the tire had gotten punctured when the rim got mangled and no one knows how that happened. seriously, I asked the guy what could have damaged it like that and he had no clue, he couldn't even imagine. so I was depressed, but I bought a "lightly used" tire for the spare rim, so at least I'd be driving on two decent tires. the guy priced some rims for me, the cheapest used one was almost two hundred dollars. I didn't have that kinda cash, but I figured maybe a friend of my mom's who deals in used import cars and parts might be able to help me find a rim cheaper somewhere. then, a couple of days after I got back from chicago, my dad walked in the house and said "I don't know how to tell you this-- but it looks like you have another flat tire." That's not even the best part-- it's the SAME tire, the one I just bought. from the tire place in chicago which is two hours away. and I have no spare. fuck. I'm just so tired of this place, tired of feeling so bad all the time. how did this happen? my life was so good before I came to milwaukee. beginning of february, I'm getting out of here, come hell or high water or black ice or subzero temperatures. and I'm not coming back for a long, long time. I've got a gig in taos, new mexico on february 14th with gary mex glazner and danny solis. february 16th in taos I'm going to one of Tha MuseMeant's farewell shows. in between now and then, I'm gonna finish this temp job, get fucking paid, drive to cali as fast as humanly possible (on four good tires, I hope), see ariana and all kindsa other people I love, take care of some unfinished car-registration type business, and then head the fuck out on the road again. these are the things I hold on to. this is the light I'm reaching for, like a neglected plant with leaves singed brown. I need light, air, and fresh water. this place needs to let me go. I'll write about something more fun tomorrow, I promise.
(((rings))) |