the old-school guestbook archives
my amazon wish list... my favorite astrologer... my favorite artist... yerba mate revolution! erowid: a travel guide for interior journeys... no more war: MoveOn.org United for Peace and Justice True Majority seek the truth: Common Dreams Unamerican Activities The Nation people I adore, diaries I read: rev.raikes ariana cubiclegirl epiphany glitter333 laurakay wammo the music: the asylum street spankers backyard tire fire blue highway bill camplin wendy colonna freedom tribe joules graves guy forsyth band hamsa lila hanuman libby kirkpatrick leftover salmon pamela means medeski martin & wood the motet the nice outfit nickel creek open road rose polenzani railroad earth south austin jug band string cheese incident taarka tha musemeant the devil makes three tim o'brien band trolley wild sage keller williams yonder mountain string band |
finding the family that feeds you ~ 2001-03-04 - 06:16:58 I suppose it's time I let go of the last entry and let y'all know what's going on in my life now... it happens, sometimes, that you write an entry which just so exactly captures what you want it to that you just have to leave it for a time. let it sit and take on its own life before you cover it over with the stories that wash through your life like rain. a tired angel am I, and resting. I came down with a cold a few days ago, and it seemed like a good time to just let myself be sick, so I gave in and flopped on the couch for a couple of days. already it's almost gone. I give my body a lot of help when it comes to healing. I honor my body's needs for space and rest and fluids and whatever else it asks me for. I listen. jason came and went like a sunlit afternoon. jason carney, a poetry friend of mine and ariana's, one of those wild boys from texas with a sweet smile and a dark past and a knack for the words that reach under your ribcage and whisper truths to your heart. the kind of boy that makes you smile in spite of yourself. a fellow traveller on the poetry road. he rolled into town a few days after I did and landed up on ariana's couch. mack dennis took he and I and ben porter lewis to the horseraces. I've never done such a thing before. I have deeply mixed feelings about racing horses, but it seemed like something I should do because I'd never done it before. I lost every bet I placed, except the last one. on the last race I dropped my last two dollars on a horse named puckerupandkissme, and I won seven dollars and twenty cents. the slam that night at the starry plough was good, I got to see some of my favorite poets, and I threw out the sacrificial poem for the third round. jason opened the feature with an ass-kicking piece he just wrote last week. I love to watch him perform. jason is unfolding and growing and becoming and it's a pleasure to be around. he's recovering from some really dark road. he used to be a skinhead. used to be a lot of things. now he's a man trying to find his way in the world. trying to learn what he can in order to become the man his little girl deserves. a man who suddenly finds himself on the road and sees just how far he still has to go. thursday we had a long, lazy, lovely day... nazelah came over and we lazed and lounged and then headed over to jupiter, where michael cirelli is the head chef and he set us up with some serious pizza-- a vegan pizza just for me-- and we drank lemonade and ate and laughed on the patio, and mack and ben showed up and we all just took it easy... me, jason, and nazelah stopped for ben and jerry's and then back to ariana's, where we put on a movie and all three of us crashed out on the couch, almost immediately... woken up by deflin, and then mack and ben, and we all just lounged and lazed until it was time to head out to the oakland slam. there is a fantastic vietnamese restaurant down the street from the oakland slam. I wish I could remember the name. golden lotus, something like that... fantastic food, and they had vegan cake, and there's lots of things I remember but the vietnamese food stands out. what I remember best is the party after the slam. some beautiful tribal kids were at the slam, and invited us all over afterwards, and for me it was like coming home. one of those sweet hippie households that feel good the moment you walk in the door, wrapping itself around you like warm arms. even jason felt it, stepping over the threshold, taking in the firelight and the softness in the eyes of the good people there. wow, the vibe in this room... he looks around, he's in my world now, and he looks as if his fairy godmother has dropped him here, as if this is the best birthday ever. there were drums, and people took them up and passed them around, there was smoke and easy smiles, and I was dancing, and raven played the guitar and a sister named sara chanted prayers in front of the fire in an angel's voice, and a sister named thailand was so beautiful I could hardly look at her and yet I couldn't stop, and through it all the look of wonder in jason's eyes as he finds a place in the world he never knew existed. ariana is sweet and sleepy and we are cuddled on the couch when asa brings out a bowl of beets and we both dive for them, and thailand giggles at the excitement of two women so wild about beets. asa and a brother whose name I've lost in the mists moved back and forth from the kitchen, bringing out dishes of food. an easy thing, with our people-- when unexpected guests land up at the door, you feed them. we ate and ate, so much good food, and when jason came in from a cigarette break, we pulled some version of a double-dog-dare, which got a plate of bulgur wheat with mushrooms, veggies, and fried potatoes into his hands. he took the first bite a little nervously. then he started chewing faster and shoving more forkfuls into his mouth. I just kept watching, trying to figure out what he was feeling about his first venture into veganland. finally he stopped long enough to say: "this is the best damn food I've ever had in my life! and there's no meat in there, anywhere!" he kept turning to me during the night, catching my eye across the room, I'm respecting you more and more, he tells me, I didn't know places like this existed. everytime I hear that, something rises up in me like joy. welcome, I say, it's good to have you. an open door, an easy heart, a plate of good food... it's not so hard to find family.
(((rings))) |