the old-school guestbook archives
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details, negotiations, and geek love ~ February 24, 2002 - 4:47 a.m. life lately has been about a lot of little details, all the little things that need to happen to make the house come together, to make the relationship stay together. we're managing, more or less. in moments it's good, in moments it's hard, but the last few days we've managed to navigate our way through it all without it blowing up in our faces. I'm still staying up all night, sleeping too late in the day. especially considering how beautiful the weather's been. I'm on this kick of wanting to reclaim my days. wanting to do a lot of things. I feel like I'm getting a grip, or at least attempting to, for the first time in months. funny how you don't even realize that you don't really have a grip on things until the need to get one hits you full on in the face. coming back to santa cruz has been like, "all right, sister, you've screwed around for long enough, let's get this show on the road." so. a lot of little details. and the process of putting together a life I can live with. we have real furniture now, stuff dragged out of storage, mainly by ozone who has a problem asking for help. we went and got the bed today, ozone's gigantic bed, which fills up most of the bedroom. the bed's been in storage for months, ever since he began this long process of moving out of san jose. we've been sleeping on a futon or a mattress or in the back of the truck for months. I'm not sure how I'm going to cope with the luxury of a real bed. we also got my vw bus, the one that ozone gave me for my birthday, but that became kind of a problem. he hasn't driven it in a couple of years. we got it started with some work, but then it died on the highway five minutes later. so we had it towed to the old volks home in santa cruz. I know I'll ultimately have to learn how to work on it myself, but I think it's just as well to have a mechanic deal with it this time around. he can check it over, let me know what it needs. ozone called it a metaphor for our relationship. I told him tonight, in the midst of one of our many negotiations, that it's like we both have pieces from different kits. and we can try to hammer something together-- which is what we've both chosen to keep doing for the time being-- but it will never be as smooth and natural as if we were both using the same equipment to begin with. we're kinda held together with duct tape and string. but. there's moments. he's loving his work, and I love seeing how much he enjoys it. there's something supernatural about the speed of his fingers flying over the keyboard when he's writing code. and he's damn good at it. and watching him do it, hearing him talk about it, I realize how much this has been missing from his life for the last few months. this thing, that he's damn good at. I don't think I realized until now why it's been so hard on him to be unemployed. he wrote me a piece of code. I was trying to save diary entries as text, and having trouble because all the sidebar text gets saved in with it. so he wrote me a piece of code that strips out the sidebar text. I type "diaryfix" and the filename, and it comes out clean. it's lovely, and solves the problem I've been tensely ignoring of how to make backups. because, right now, if diaryland were to crash and burn, I would lose all this. and that's not something I really want to think about. so, he wrote me a piece of code. geek love. it's one of his forms of expression. at the moment, we're doing what we can.
(((rings))) |