the old-school guestbook archives
my amazon wish list... my favorite astrologer... my favorite artist... yerba mate revolution! erowid: a travel guide for interior journeys... no more war: MoveOn.org United for Peace and Justice True Majority seek the truth: Common Dreams Unamerican Activities The Nation people I adore, diaries I read: rev.raikes ariana cubiclegirl epiphany glitter333 laurakay wammo the music: the asylum street spankers backyard tire fire blue highway bill camplin wendy colonna freedom tribe joules graves guy forsyth band hamsa lila hanuman libby kirkpatrick leftover salmon pamela means medeski martin & wood the motet the nice outfit nickel creek open road rose polenzani railroad earth south austin jug band string cheese incident taarka tha musemeant the devil makes three tim o'brien band trolley wild sage keller williams yonder mountain string band |
here am i ~ July 8, 2004 - 1:54 a.m. another mixed kind of day. cloudy and strange, with moments of light. i got some errands done, so that was good. i've got together most of what i need together for my overnight trip tomorrow, so that's good too. trip = airline speak for a work assignment. can be one day or multiple days in a row. my whole vocabulary has changed with my entrance into the air travel industry. so, this trip, just an overnight. flying to omaha and back, then overnighting in newark. i'm on reserve this month, which is good for me at the moment. being on reserve is basically being on call; you just cover shifts where they need you to. and with a bunch of us on reserve this month, it means i don't fly that much. i'm still guaranteed 80 hours of pay for the month, no matter how little i fly. and i need the time right now, for getting my life together. reaching out to those i love and bringing them back into my life. catching up on all of the everything i've been neglecting for way too long. and plus, it's finally summertime. a cold and rainy summer, it's true. but sometimes it's lovely. i'm still having trouble reading my face, but there's something very serious about how i look lately. i'm here in this house in the city where i was born, six blocks from the house where i grew up, and i think i'm trying to catch up to myself. all these places i have been, all these lives i've lived in this one short lifetime, all the women i have been, and here i am. all the roads i've walked have brought me here. i think i've been afraid of this stillness, this quiet. afraid that landing meant nailing my feet to the earth. afraid that if i curled myself into the idea of home, the rest of the magical world would fall away, would cease to be, leaving me stranded in this place i've been running from all of my life. here i am, in the place i've been running from. the one place where i've finally let myself land. i am still afraid. but here i am.
(((rings))) |