the old-school guestbook archives
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naming names ~ June 18, 2002 - 10:11 p.m. I got a new name today. I haven't abandoned kelly, I've gotten pretty attached to that name. it means warrior woman, after all. but I decided that I wanted a spiritual name, too. something that speaks to the work I'm doing here, to build a disciplined spiritual life for myself. and anyone can ask babaji to give them a sanskrit name. lots of people in the community have them, and people relate to their names in different ways. some people get a sanskrit name but don't use it, some people are only known by their sanskrit names, some people use their sanskrit names and their given names interchangeably. so today I had an individual appointment with babaji. I was pretty nervous about it. it's the first time I've ever been alone with him, interacted with him on a one-on-one basis. while I was waiting in the hallway, community members kept walking by and noticing, throwing encouraging comments my way. because everyone knows that he takes personal appointments on tuesdays, and if you're waiting in the hallway, they all know what for. remember to breathe, kelly! said sunanda, the woman who runs the kitchen and is often short-tempered. she just recently learned my name, since I never work with her. and it was such good advice. I breathed, and waited, and then it was my turn. I asked him about the relationship between buddhism and yoga, whether it's appropriate to practice both, and he basically told me that it's fine, that the two share many tools. he said that they go hand in hand up until "cosmic mind" (the point of liberation), and that's where they diverge. buddhism says that nothing beyond that can be proved. yoga talks about union with god. he also said that hinduism refers to buddha as one of the incarnations of god. when I say "said", of course, I mean that he wrote it on the little whiteboard he carries. babaji hasn't spoken since 1952. then we talked about my struggles to lead a disciplined life, and he made me feel like I'm not nearly as undisciplined as I think I am. and then we had a conversation that kind of felt like chit-chat, getting to know you type stuff. he asked if I was single, if I'd ever been married, if I thought I ever would get married. I told him I thought it was a possibility, if I ever met someone I felt that deeply connected to and it felt like the right thing to do, but that I've never assumed that I would. he asked about my parents, my siblings. and then our time was running out, so I asked him to give me a name. he asked for my birthday and looked up my numerology, and then he looked through one of his sanskrit books, and wrote it out for me in both sanskrit and english. it's urvasi. it means: one who dwells in everyone's heart. a name given to a celestial dancer, he wrote. I love it. it feels so right, it feels like mine. it feels special, to have a name that's been chosen just for me by a wise and holy man. I think I'm going to use my new name up here on the mountain, and when I spend time in other spiritual communities. in the rest of the world, I'll still be kelly. warrior woman, angel, dancing girl. I love my names. all those aspects of my being, my strength, my tenderness, my vulnerability. I've been saying my new name all day, wrapping my tongue around it. urvasi. I like the way it sounds.
(((rings))) |