the old-school guestbook archives
my amazon wish list... my favorite astrologer... my favorite artist... yerba mate revolution! erowid: a travel guide for interior journeys... no more war: MoveOn.org United for Peace and Justice True Majority seek the truth: Common Dreams Unamerican Activities The Nation people I adore, diaries I read: rev.raikes ariana cubiclegirl epiphany glitter333 laurakay wammo the music: the asylum street spankers backyard tire fire blue highway bill camplin wendy colonna freedom tribe joules graves guy forsyth band hamsa lila hanuman libby kirkpatrick leftover salmon pamela means medeski martin & wood the motet the nice outfit nickel creek open road rose polenzani railroad earth south austin jug band string cheese incident taarka tha musemeant the devil makes three tim o'brien band trolley wild sage keller williams yonder mountain string band |
a place of love ~ October 12, 2001 - 1:24 a.m. I don't know what to write about, I just feel like writing. we just came back from seeing "training day"-- entertaining. I'll see just about anything with ethan hawke and denzel washington. I've discovered something, though-- I'm no longer inured to violence. it's not easy for me to watch someone being shot, being beaten. even in the movies, even on tv. I'm walking around wide open to all the pain in the world, and it's not easy. but it's the kind of person I want to be. driving down from port townsend, washington, I saw clearcuts so massive that I didn't realize what I was looking at for a moment, entire mountainsides like open wounds scarred with logging roads. I started crying, deep hard sobs pushing up through my chest as I held on to the steering wheel and felt those mountains, those trees, all the creatures who lived in that place. and then on the way up from down south, on my last trip with ozone... we passed a ranch, I was reading my book, and I looked up because the stench was so thick in the air, urine and feces so powerful it was choking me and I thought those cows can't be living in decent conditions and I looked up to see, and what I saw almost made me scream. "oh my god-- oh my god!" I shrieked, tears running down my face. acres and acres of cows, all packed in on top of each other, thousands and thousands of them, some lying on their sides, looking dead, the rest standing knee deep in their own crap, and I could feel the waves of pain coming off those fields, I could imagine how the ammonia must burn their eyes and noses and throats. this is one of the many reasons why I haven't eaten meat in a decade. I cannot be complicit in that suffering. eating meat is internalizing pain, sorrow, and grief. and yes, I feel as much for my fellow humans. this is a hard world, and terrifying times, but I can't shut myself off from it. I've done that already. I was hard and numb for years, unable to reach out to the people around me, unable to feel anyone's pain but my own. I can't go back to that. yes, it's hard. yes, I know that I can't fix the world's problems. but I believe that my ability to feel, to care, to give love to those I share this planet with is what will ultimately heal what is broken. I do what I can, I send my love out into the universe. it always comes back to me, ten times over-- so I figure I must be doing something right. everything matters, it all matters, even the little stuff. care for your fellow humans, love the planet you are a part of and the creatures which inhabit it. It's hard as hell, I know, but it's really pretty simple, when you think about it. it's really past time we started to move from a place of love. time we started caring for one another.
(((rings))) |