the old-school guestbook archives
my amazon wish list... my favorite astrologer... my favorite artist... yerba mate revolution! erowid: a travel guide for interior journeys... no more war: MoveOn.org United for Peace and Justice True Majority seek the truth: Common Dreams Unamerican Activities The Nation people I adore, diaries I read: rev.raikes ariana cubiclegirl epiphany glitter333 laurakay wammo the music: the asylum street spankers backyard tire fire blue highway bill camplin wendy colonna freedom tribe joules graves guy forsyth band hamsa lila hanuman libby kirkpatrick leftover salmon pamela means medeski martin & wood the motet the nice outfit nickel creek open road rose polenzani railroad earth south austin jug band string cheese incident taarka tha musemeant the devil makes three tim o'brien band trolley wild sage keller williams yonder mountain string band |
well and truly kicked ~ May 25, 2005 - 2:10 a.m. i've been meaning to write something new for a while. i usually don't leave something as raw as that last entry up for so long. but the war metaphor was just where i was at. it's been a hellish spring. raw and chaotic and filled with so many huge and raging feelings that i was feeling beaten to the ground all the time. all i could do just to let each breath carry me forward. i'm coming through it now, finally. not quite out from under, but getting there. the yoga is teaching me so much. i'm so hungry for it, fitting it in wherever i can in my insane schedule. and the more i do it, the more release becomes an unconscious reflex. i am so much less able to sit in a body twisted with tension. i breath deep, i stretch open my ribcage. tadasana can be done anywhere, even in the galley of an airplane. the loss of clarity was the most terrifying thing. for a long stretch there i'd lost all certainty about the rightness of where i am and what i'm doing. i couldn't feel my feet on the path and didn't know where i was anymore. it's getting better. but the main thing i know i need is more practice. more meditation, more yoga, more writing. more time out in nature. and somehow that all needs to happen even though i work all the time and i'm always tired. i'm guessing this is a thing i came here to learn. i must be learning things. i can tell by the way my ass is being well and truly kicked by the universe. enough. i want to breath mountain air and stare up at the stars.
(((rings))) |