the old-school guestbook archives
my amazon wish list... my favorite astrologer... my favorite artist... yerba mate revolution! erowid: a travel guide for interior journeys... no more war: MoveOn.org United for Peace and Justice True Majority seek the truth: Common Dreams Unamerican Activities The Nation people I adore, diaries I read: rev.raikes ariana cubiclegirl epiphany glitter333 laurakay wammo the music: the asylum street spankers backyard tire fire blue highway bill camplin wendy colonna freedom tribe joules graves guy forsyth band hamsa lila hanuman libby kirkpatrick leftover salmon pamela means medeski martin & wood the motet the nice outfit nickel creek open road rose polenzani railroad earth south austin jug band string cheese incident taarka tha musemeant the devil makes three tim o'brien band trolley wild sage keller williams yonder mountain string band |
arms and holding, dreams and nightmares ~ june 1, 2001 - 4:13 p.m. I just spent a half hour trying to write about strawberry, and it's just not happening. it won't flow. I think I'm still in too much of an in-between place, still trying to shift gears back into santa cruz reality. yesterday, heather dropped me off at my car, which was parked at steven and shanda's, and I went straight out to mount madonna to see ever. truthfully, he wasn't much on my mind while I was gone, what with the insanity and excess stimulus of working a festival-- and I guess I'm learning to let go. learning not to let his absence be an ache, but to delight in his presence when I see him. but on the way home, he kept coming into my head and I had one of those strong feelings that it was important for us to see each other. I got there just as the afternoon sun was slanting into sunset, and wandered in the peace and quiet for a while. he's moved into a tent since last I was there, and I wasn't sure where to find it, so I just took it easy, knowing we'd find each other if we needed to. it turned out he was at the beach, and got back about a half hour after I got there... we collapsed into each other's arms and held on tight, neither of us knowing quite how much we needed the other to be there until that moment. we slept in each other's arms all night long, and I was there to hold him when he woke up shuddering from the nightmares that have been haunting him lately. shh... you're okay... you're okay... that's still where my heart is at the moment... not at strawberry or the meandering journey home, but in the arms of this boy who draws such deep and tender feelings from me. I'll write about the rest later on.
(((rings))) |