the old-school guestbook archives
my amazon wish list... my favorite astrologer... my favorite artist... yerba mate revolution! erowid: a travel guide for interior journeys... no more war: MoveOn.org United for Peace and Justice True Majority seek the truth: Common Dreams Unamerican Activities The Nation people I adore, diaries I read: rev.raikes ariana cubiclegirl epiphany glitter333 laurakay wammo the music: the asylum street spankers backyard tire fire blue highway bill camplin wendy colonna freedom tribe joules graves guy forsyth band hamsa lila hanuman libby kirkpatrick leftover salmon pamela means medeski martin & wood the motet the nice outfit nickel creek open road rose polenzani railroad earth south austin jug band string cheese incident taarka tha musemeant the devil makes three tim o'brien band trolley wild sage keller williams yonder mountain string band |
angel in the arms of home ~ May 19, 2002 - 10:44 a.m. ridiculous that I'm awake at all... I was out until 4 am last night, but my body decided it was ready to be awake at 9... sigh. I guess that's what happens when you start retraining your sleep cycles to mesh with an early-rising yoga center. although it's true, I like being up early. especially getting up early and doing yoga. it feels amazing... such a good way to start the day. last night was a good night, too. I went down into santa cruz to do laundry, took my friend dawn along so she could pick up her bus. we split up for a while during the day, and after I'd done laundry I discovered that the art and wine festival was going on in santa cruz, so I wandered a bit in the sunshine, ran into a bunch of friends. me and dawn reconnected around evening, and I started talking about boulder creek, and she said "hey, let's go!" she'd never been there. well, sure. so, a boulder creek saturday night. I love that town. we hung out at the brewery, where everyone knows each other, everyone is more or less friends. tim and sam were there with persephone and letonia, and we caught up and laughed and had a great time. I flirted just a tiny bit with the scottish bartender I've had something of a crush on for something like a year. and I flirted quite a bit with dawn, who happens to be the woman who used to live in my room... the one I had the dream about, yes. and she loved my little town. but I did forget to warn her about the potency of boulder creek weed. especially if you haven't been smoking much. and she's been going through some really hard emotional stuff with her ex-husband, and began to release a lot. which was hard, but good. and I helped her ground, and held her while she cried, and anchored her through the night. she called me an angel, and tears rose in my throat, and I didn't know what to say. it's been some time. and so I found myself in the role of healer rather than lover, and realized that I needed to keep the two very clear and separate, for myself as much as for her. and it's true that neither of us were in a very safe space to go there. so, I helped her ground. I reminded her to breathe. and when I felt my own energy depleting, I reminded myself to rest and recharge. this may be one of the most valuable things I learned from my last relationship. to be clear about my role. to rest when I need to. and there was a party, not one of the truly magical ones, but one of the good ones, up on the land across the creek from tim and sam's with a reggae band and a bonfire and good people. it felt like boulder creek. it felt like home. and it was good, so good to reconnect with that again. my little town. music and dancing and love. a place that allows for the possibility of magic. I ran into a brother who recognized me from hanuman shows, who said they missed my energy at the last one-- which was last week, and which I hadn't known about because I've been up on the mountain and out of the loop. dancing girl, angel... I tasted my old names, rolled them on my tongue and remembered their sweetness. I remembered all the aspects of myself that that little town has drawn from me. I remembered how much love that town has for me, and I wrapped myself in its arms. this community in which I live is so good, so healing for me. but that little town is always going to be home.
(((rings))) |