the old-school guestbook archives
my amazon wish list... my favorite astrologer... my favorite artist... yerba mate revolution! erowid: a travel guide for interior journeys... no more war: MoveOn.org United for Peace and Justice True Majority seek the truth: Common Dreams Unamerican Activities The Nation people I adore, diaries I read: rev.raikes ariana cubiclegirl epiphany glitter333 laurakay wammo the music: the asylum street spankers backyard tire fire blue highway bill camplin wendy colonna freedom tribe joules graves guy forsyth band hamsa lila hanuman libby kirkpatrick leftover salmon pamela means medeski martin & wood the motet the nice outfit nickel creek open road rose polenzani railroad earth south austin jug band string cheese incident taarka tha musemeant the devil makes three tim o'brien band trolley wild sage keller williams yonder mountain string band |
my head in the clouds ~ April 4, 2002 - 8:50 p.m. I'm still in the process of shifting gears, detoxing, but my energy is coming back. I am constantly grateful for the blessings of this place, this community. I feel encircled, enfolded, and at the same time utterly free. it feels as if I began to hold my breath and clench my muscles sometime last summer, and I am finally breathing again, letting go, opening. I feel safe. I feel loved. I feel the presence of the divine in everything I do. I feel like I'm coming back to myself, finally. and I'm so glad, because I've missed me. you know, my diary even looks better here. you think I'm kidding, but it's true. I've designed my diary to appear in my favorite font, papyrus-- which is pretty arty and not available on a lot of computers. so there's a couple of alternate fonts, which are okay but not thrilling, which will appear if your computer doesn't have papyrus. if you don't have any of them, the whole thing defaults to times new roman, which is way too utilitarian for my taste. so anyway. the computers here have papyrus. I haven't seen my diary in papyrus in ages. it's just so lovely. we're still shrouded in fog, like a castle in the clouds. we are, literally, in the clouds sometimes. I keep having these wonderful conversations with people. speaking from the heart, about all the things which are close to my heart. beautiful, creative, interesting, intelligent, spiritual people. this community is so special, and I can't even begin to tell you what it means to me to be here. ever was here today, he comes up every week to work on rock crew, which builds these gorgeous walls and ponds and waterfalls and other creations on the land. it was funny to see him here. I was introduced to this community through him, and for the past year he's been my primary connection to this place. now he's living in aptos, and I am a member of the community. he seemed unsure of how to connect with me here, pulled in different directions by his connections to others and by all the dynamics of this community and how it relates to his presence here. this is what I think, anyway. we didn't get the chance to talk much today. in part because he's silent on thursdays, and communicates via chalk on a little piece of slate. and in part because of all the rest of it. we'll talk another time. it was good to see him though, it always is. did I mention that I arrived here a year and three days after the day I first dropped him off here? that was my first experience of this place. I think I knew then that I would find myself here sooner or later. and it is just such a good place to be. I woke up at 7 a.m. this morning without an alarm, went upstairs for yoga. such a beautiful way to begin a day. forgive me if I gush. it's been too long since my world has been this filled with magic.
(((rings))) |