the old-school guestbook archives
my amazon wish list... my favorite astrologer... my favorite artist... yerba mate revolution! erowid: a travel guide for interior journeys... no more war: MoveOn.org United for Peace and Justice True Majority seek the truth: Common Dreams Unamerican Activities The Nation people I adore, diaries I read: rev.raikes ariana cubiclegirl epiphany glitter333 laurakay wammo the music: the asylum street spankers backyard tire fire blue highway bill camplin wendy colonna freedom tribe joules graves guy forsyth band hamsa lila hanuman libby kirkpatrick leftover salmon pamela means medeski martin & wood the motet the nice outfit nickel creek open road rose polenzani railroad earth south austin jug band string cheese incident taarka tha musemeant the devil makes three tim o'brien band trolley wild sage keller williams yonder mountain string band |
baby, i had to crash that car... ~ August 3, 2005 - 4:22 p.m. and then it comes, the wave surging deep and strong and wild in a spiral of power and it all crashes through and in that moment you know that there is no beginning and end to this, that this wavecrash and breaking to the surface, this drinking in of water air and light has always been and will always be. this moment has always been, and you have always been inside of it. it has always been inside of you. months now i've felt it winding up inside of me, walking blind in a world where every footstep felt like a loosening binding, every footfall sounded like goodbye. feeling for my next direction and holding to my weary faith that all things come clear in their time. sometimes time stretches long and slow, and sometimes it snaps tight and wild and all you can do is fly. california. california was like that. i went home. home to the dreamworld i'd almost stopped believing in, an open door i thought might stay locked forever. thoughts, they do this. they believe in locks. but hearts believe in love and light and the possibilities of open doors, open arms, and an ocean as endless as it all. i went home, and home was waiting for me with open arms. home knew my name and my face and the rhythms of my heart. my town, my people. the hugs i'd get just walking down the street. the light in that place and the clarity in the air. a place that draws my beauty from me, that loves me as its own child. eyes bright with seeing, soft with knowing. this is my place. and high sierra, the family that called me home to my heart way back when at the beginning of saturn return. calling me home, now. we need you. skies filled with stars and nights crowded with music and magic. all of me pulled wide open and filled with light. when is the last time i've laughed so much. when is the last i've felt so alive, so blessed, so home. time has come, and all of me knows it. and so deep my gratitude for this, the direction given. i have gone even into the depths of the darkness when called, and now it all comes clear and i laugh and laugh with the relief of it. even here, now, in this midwestern rustbelt town i may have finally made my peace with. my eyes in the mirror are sparkling, wide and filled with light. the sad weight i've carried for two years in the lines of my face has fallen away, and again my spirit shines through. home, i'm going home. september. the whole world begins again. just like it does every day.
(((rings))) |