the old-school guestbook archives
my amazon wish list... my favorite astrologer... my favorite artist... yerba mate revolution! erowid: a travel guide for interior journeys... no more war: MoveOn.org United for Peace and Justice True Majority seek the truth: Common Dreams Unamerican Activities The Nation people I adore, diaries I read: rev.raikes ariana cubiclegirl epiphany glitter333 laurakay wammo the music: the asylum street spankers backyard tire fire blue highway bill camplin wendy colonna freedom tribe joules graves guy forsyth band hamsa lila hanuman libby kirkpatrick leftover salmon pamela means medeski martin & wood the motet the nice outfit nickel creek open road rose polenzani railroad earth south austin jug band string cheese incident taarka tha musemeant the devil makes three tim o'brien band trolley wild sage keller williams yonder mountain string band |
more of that being here now stuff ~ September 8, 2002 - 2:54 a.m. 3 a.m. seems to be my bedtime lately... I don't know if that's really working for me, but that's what is. people keep asking me how long I'm staying, where I'm going and what I'm doing before I leave the country, and I don't know what to tell them. right now I'm taking it a day at a time. this is where I am right now. and where I am right now is the computer room at mount madonna, in the middle of the night. I have smoke in my hair and drumbeats pulsing through my veins... a drum jam tonight, at tom and valerie's place up the road. I invited patrick, the boy I've been running around with and climbing rocks with lately, up to the mountain for the new moon drum jam. and I was a little nervous... the whole collision of worlds thing, I think. but it was lovely, truly, sweet and fun. I love these people. and before heading up to tom and valerie's, we got to see a martial arts demo by the some 250 badass martial arts women who are convening up on the mountain right now. this place is a conference center as well as an ashram, so a lot of programs come through here. I have to say that the martial arts mamas have to be one of my favorite groups so far. so it was a good night. and having patrick up here was fine, and I was only a little skittish... because I'm always a little skittish, with him. risa's horoscope for me last week said something about walking on water lilies, and an antelope so delicate that it will die if handled with the least aggression. I am walking on water lilies, and seeking gentle handling. and he is, gentle. and patient, and sweet, and communicative. he lets me be skittish, he lets me freak out. he holds me when I cry. it feels like I cry a lot lately... it feels like I'm kind of a mess, but at the same time ecstatic and delighting in my life. so I don't know. I'm feeling kind of ungrounded, in between things. tonight, watching all these strong, amazing women in total possession of their bodies, I was realizing that I really need to go back to martial arts. that I need to choose a discipline and follow it as far as I can go. I am craving balance, grounding. alignment. I am skittish with the boy and evasive about my plans because I don't know where I'm at. I'm just following my heart, moment to moment. all I really know is that I'm here, now.
(((rings))) |