the old-school guestbook archives
my amazon wish list... my favorite astrologer... my favorite artist... yerba mate revolution! erowid: a travel guide for interior journeys... no more war: MoveOn.org United for Peace and Justice True Majority seek the truth: Common Dreams Unamerican Activities The Nation people I adore, diaries I read: rev.raikes ariana cubiclegirl epiphany glitter333 laurakay wammo the music: the asylum street spankers backyard tire fire blue highway bill camplin wendy colonna freedom tribe joules graves guy forsyth band hamsa lila hanuman libby kirkpatrick leftover salmon pamela means medeski martin & wood the motet the nice outfit nickel creek open road rose polenzani railroad earth south austin jug band string cheese incident taarka tha musemeant the devil makes three tim o'brien band trolley wild sage keller williams yonder mountain string band |
on the day of my recovery... ~ May 22, 2002 - 8:45 p.m. today is definitely better. isn't that a relief? and partly, yes, because the sun is out again. and I spent a deeply satisfying morning in the garden, watering newly planted baby beets and weeding. weeding, oh yes. the satisfying thunk of the, um, digging thing I don't know the name of. the one with spikes on one side and something that almost looks like an axe head on the other. which is how it was described to me this morning when I was told it was the best thing to use for weeding. I got down in the dirt, kicked off my shoes, and went to town on the kale beds. grip this stem of my history... and shake through, shake through to ugly... rose polenzani is music like poetry and a voice so ethereal it sends chills up my spine. I got up for yoga class this morning... something of a minor miracle since I accidentally set my alarm for p.m. instead of a.m. I woke up just in time to drag myself out of bed and to class. which was so good. and I realized just how important the yoga is to this whole healing process/transformation thang I'm going through at the moment. coming out of certain poses, I felt a thick and fiery energy travel through my arms and out my fingertips, and I realized how much of what I've needed to release has just been stagnating inside me over the last couple of weeks, since my getting-up-for-yoga ethic has been a bit sketched. which began with an injury that needed to heal, so a few days rest was somewhat called for. but those few days broke my flow, and I've been finding my way back to it ever since. I think it also doesn't help that I have my own room now. having a roommate who almost always got up for yoga was a great motivator. but now that I've had this reminder of just how much it matters that I do it, I think it'll be easier. whenever I'm having trouble crawling out of my warm sheets, I can just remind myself of yesterday's meltdown. it all needs to keep flowing through me. it doesn't matter how painful my emotional states may be at times, because it's all moving, changing, like clouds clearing away from the sun. I'm releasing old stuff, deep dark stuff that's been locked away for so long. it all just needs to keep moving. and on wednesday nights, some of us gather for meditation and prayers for peace. we chant prayers of peace and healing in sanskrit, and then sit for forty minutes. it's a beautiful moment of quiet in my week, a good anchor. and I've been including james in my prayers, as well as others of my loved ones who are in need of healing. because I want to remember, that first and foremost I want him to be well, and happy. and I'm excited today too, because I've been talking to this woman in san francisco about buying her motorcycle-- and I just saw the pictures. ooh, it's a sexy machine. I can't wait to go check it out in person. see, the bike I ride has been on indefinite loan from james-- and he needs it back. so it's time to buy something of my own. he'll even help me buy it if I need him to, since he doesn't want me to be bikeless. it's really, really sweet. he knows, after all, how hard it is to go back once you've learned to ride. and that sexy machine. I can't stop fantasizing about it. we'll see. the only thing I know for sure is that, in the end, it really is all good.
(((rings))) |