the old-school guestbook archives
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she's wearing white ~ May 24, 2002 - 9:19 p.m. I'm wearing all white today. yes, this is an unusual thing. we're having a yoga retreat up here, which means lots of energy and people and ritual and practices and things to do, things to learn. I decided to wear white for the duration of the retreat, which signifies devotion and purity in the yoga world. I kept going back and forth about it. I went back and forth about ten times this morning when I crawled out of bed at quarter to six. finally, I just forced a decision due to the immediate need of getting clothing on my body, and I think it was a good choice. I felt a little self-conscious about it, though-- which is not a feeling I'm used to. I tend not to worry about what people think of how I look. it's just a thing. because I live in a community where everyone sees me every day. and they've never seen me wear all white. which is a choice mainly the hardcore devotees make. but this weekend, it felt important. this weekend feels important, in general. I've been getting so wrapped up in the mess of my emotional state lately, it's been hard to focus on my spiritual practice. and it's one of those conundrums-- because focusing on your spiritual practice is what brings you out of your own little world, puts everything into perspective. so, I'm seeking focus. balance. spiritual practice. I'm letting go of the neurotic state my head's been in lately. breathing. connecting with the divine. this retreat couldn't have come along at a better time. I think I'm going to stay on the land this weekend, clean out my headspace for a bit, skip the sunday night dinner thang and the emotional unrest that seems to happen when I get into the same room as james. although I've been managing pretty sane communication with him the last few days, at least via e-mail. I have some hope that I am, at last, getting over it. but I think this space I'm in is an important part of the process. remembering just how important my spiritual connection is. to everything. namaste, y'all.
(((rings))) |