the old-school guestbook archives
my amazon wish list... my favorite astrologer... my favorite artist... yerba mate revolution! erowid: a travel guide for interior journeys... no more war: MoveOn.org United for Peace and Justice True Majority seek the truth: Common Dreams Unamerican Activities The Nation people I adore, diaries I read: rev.raikes ariana cubiclegirl epiphany glitter333 laurakay wammo the music: the asylum street spankers backyard tire fire blue highway bill camplin wendy colonna freedom tribe joules graves guy forsyth band hamsa lila hanuman libby kirkpatrick leftover salmon pamela means medeski martin & wood the motet the nice outfit nickel creek open road rose polenzani railroad earth south austin jug band string cheese incident taarka tha musemeant the devil makes three tim o'brien band trolley wild sage keller williams yonder mountain string band |
ramble on, sleepy girl... ~ March 15, 2002 - 11:16 p.m. again, I'm a sleepy girl. I'm trying to talk myself into going to dance jam, because I know it would be good for me. I've been releasing a lot of ancient dark and heavy stuff lately, and I'm pretty sure that dancing would be good. but damn, I'm tired. my sleep schedule has been wacked since the night I stayed up 'til dawn to make sure that ozone was just an insensitive asshole and not dead. all I really want to do tonight is play some online scrabble and then crash out on the couch, which is where I'm sleeping these days. 'cause, you know, he kinda blew it in the making-me-feel-safe department. about a thousand times. and when you're done, you're just done. I wouldn't say I'm angry. I guess I'd say I'm just not in a forgiving kind of space yet. that takes energy I don't have. there's time for forgiveness later on down the road. for now I'm managing to stay pretty civil, which feels like good enough. we dance around each other when we're in the house at the same time, which lately is as little as possible. I haven't heard back from the kids at the house on blessing lane yet, but I should soon. meeting them was beautiful. we hugged hello and goodbye, and it just felt right. we'll see. it'll happen if it's meant to. I haven't heard from the folks at the Alarm! yet either, and the last word I had from them was that they wanted to start interviews next week. but then, they've already pushed back their deadline three times since I've been in touch with them, so I'm not holding my breath too hard. it's a collective, after all. I did send them an e-mail today, just checking in. it feels like everything is kind of in process right now. the house, the employment situation-- it's all out of my hands at the moment. I'm just breathing, caring for myself, and carrying my cell phone from room to room with me. oh, something else cool-- I found a dentist through craigslist who's looking for subjects to treat for her board exam. and I've got this cavity I've been not doing anything about because I have no money. so I'm going up to the city on tuesday for a screening appointment. at the least, I'll get a free exam, and if my teeth are the right kind of fucked up for her board exam, I'll get my cavity (please let there just be one) taken care of as well. I love craigslist. community bulletin boards are one of the cooler aspects of the internet, I think. it's such a powerful tool for bringing people together. I could still go to dance jam, if I wanted to. and I do want to, I'm just so tired. I don't think it's going to happen tonight. and jeffrey's coming this weekend! I'm so glad. there's someone I really need to spend time with. scrabble and sleep. all I really want right now. and all within arm's reach. I'm a lucky girl.
(((rings))) |