the old-school guestbook archives
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going down the road... ~ 2001-02-15 - 19:33:01 I've been neglecting my diary lately, but for a good reason: I AM BACK ON THE ROAD. hell fuckin yeah. where to start? I'm having a strange day, and I don't know why. there's this sadness thing I can't seem to shake. but at the same time, I'm loving the hell out of taos. I'm digging on this town more than just about anyplace I've stopped so far. this town was made for hippie chicks. I wish I knew why I'm sad. I think I need to meditate. my meditiations have been pretty intense lately. I'm learning a whole hell of a lot. the drive here was long... I left milwaukee a lot later than I'd planned to (as usual), so the first day I only drove as far as chicago, then I went out to dinner with my friend brian and crashed at his place. I was so tired I was barely conscious at dinner. waking up on the couch of an unfamiliar apartment was what really brought it home. I AM BACK ON THE ROAD. I left chicago early and headed out on 80. driving, driving, driving... my mom gave me this really cool little gadget for christmas. it's a AAA tripwizard. it looks like a calculator, but you can punch in your location, and it'll tell you where the next gas station is and how long to get there... it'll also find you hotels, restaurants, truck stops, bathrooms, campgrounds... you can even ask by name... it can tell me where the nearest In N Out Burger is. it'll give you weather hotline numbers, and hotel numbers, and even driving directions from one place to another. it's amazing. I use it mostly for finding gas. like, once I let my tank get too low and I had to stop at a place where gas was $1.69. so I looked on my little thingie, and it told me that there were more gas stations down the road, and one of them was a flying j, where they usually have good prices. so I just put five bucks in and drove down to the flying j, where gas was 25 cents cheaper. mom's good at presents. most people with moms don't believe me, but it's true. things went pretty smooth until nebraska, where I got pulled over because I was too tired to pay attention to my sixth sense which tells me when cops are near. I wound up with a 98 dollar speeding ticket. then in colorado, I almost lost control and went off the road when it flashfroze and became a sheet of ice. there was a cop there, talking to a semi driver across the street, and when he came over, I thought he was going to offer to help. instead he started screaming "get the fuck out of here! now! drive!! get the fuck out of here!" boy, there's few things quite as scary as a screaming cop. I drove. a little while later, the snow started coming down really heavy and I couldn't see shit and the road was icy and I'd already been driving for about 15 hours. that's when I realized I'd crossed over into stupid girl territory, and that I'd better stop for the night. I found a days inn which cost too much, but which was really comfortable and had all kindsa amenities. I found myself wishing there was someone or a coupla someones with me to enjoy it and the big beds. I meditated, which led to some really intense realizations about life and death and all kinds of things, and then I called ariana and then I slept for four hours before getting up and back on the road. which was still overwhelmingly nasty. it was a whiteout, and the road was covered with snow and slick as hell. a couple of times I hit those grooves they dig at the edge to let you know you're going off the road. on top of that, my defroster fans don't really kick in until the car's moving, so I had to keep clearing a space to see out of with my glove until the windshield defrosted. I really wasn't sure if I was gonna make it down that road alive. especially since every time a semi passed me, the snow it kicked up would COMPLETELY blind me. so I started singing. I started singing "amazing grace". I NEVER sing "amazing grace". I only know the first verse, so I sang it over and over again, and then I found a car to follow, and then the right lane started to clear up, and pretty soon it was hardly scary at all. I'm not saying it's cause and effect, just... when you're driving down a cold and icy road you're not sure you're going to make it to the end of, a song's as good a thing to hold on to as anything. everything cleared up an hour or two south of denver. the sun came out and everything was beautiful. I even made it to taos in time for my gig. which was at a beautiful gallery which was very cozy but which had that kind of rich-artsy culture I'm not all that comfortable with. but I got to perform in front of a crackling fire, which was nice. I opened my set by doing something I never do. I sang the first verse of "amazing grace". as a rule, I do not sing in public. I am not a singer, although I love to sing and do it at the top of my lungs in my car all the time. singing in public scares the hell out of me. so I did it, and it was great, really. I told them the story of my drive and the song and that I'm not a singer and then I sang it. and they loved it. they all lit up. they loved me. it was good. gary glazner read too, and I'm staying with him and his wife in santa fe on sunday. he just got a video camera, and wants to videotape me on the roof of their adobe house, doing poetry, with the canyon and the sunset behind me. yeah. today I wandered all over taos... I was going to go hiking, but it might be getting too late today. I do love taos. the mountains are magnificent. every so often all my senses will just snap open and it'll hit me again how beautiful this place is, how clear and good the air is, how the people smile and look me in the eye in a way that makes me homesick for boulder creek. so why am I so sad?
(((rings))) |